Zombie Apocalypse coming from a government agency near you

From ghosts to vampires this week and now zombies…

But don’t worry. This isn’t a Dispatch about how to really dispatch a zombie. I just couldn’t let this week go without mention of yet another example of government silliness—the CDC’s very own Zombie Apocalypse survival guide.

And, despite what you may have heard, this is not another election-year promise to create more government agencies and staff them with more…well, zombies. No, this was a “serious” effort undertaken by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) to get more people to “stop, look, and listen” to their disaster-preparedness recommendations.

A mere promotional stunt, if you will…but one that proved so successful, it has spawned “zombie counter-measure” training programs nationwide. Including Homeland Security and even military exercises. All to help better prepare for disasters, like viral outbreaks that may cause rage, aggression, and even flesh-eating behavior (by the infected individual, not just the bacteria). Whether the infected can rise from the dead is another matter.

Of course, to assure that nobody gets confused by all these zombie announcements, the CDC and others have been careful to note that zombies are not real. But with all this latest, tax-funded nonsense from government bureaucrats, how can we be so sure? What goes on in all those CDC “containment” facilities anyway?

I hope you had an interesting week…without too many real ghosts, ghouls, or zombies… But if you are approached by someone with a dull look in their eyes, who says, “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help you,”…Run!


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